Post Song: Holiday by Boys Like Girls

Here’s to another shit day. I always seem to find myself in these situations. Here’s a recap of how my Wednesday went.

I woke up late and skipped my first class, because there was no way I was going to make it in time, unless I could teleport. As I was driving to uni, I had a panic attack. I have to find a communication internship in the next 30 days or else I could possibly not graduate! So I called Peter and he calmed me down enough to get me through the day.

When I finally arrive at uni, I still have another hour until my next class so I watch another episode of Orange is the New Black. Thats when the stomach pains started setting in. They’re more frequent this week, and by frequent I mean every day. So I make a doctors appointment before my evening class. My worries are temporarily put at ease.

Fast forward to my doctor’s appointment and its an Indian guy that seemed maybe only 8 years older than myself. He’s straight business and does my check up. He thinks my frequent migraines and stomach pains are due to strew. FUCKING STRESS. Of course I know  I’m stressed, but apparently its taking a toll on my body. On top of that he says I have a slight heart murmur. *Gah*

The sad part is I don’t think school or my job is the root of majority of my stress. I think its my family. Home is supposed to be a place where you find refuge and relaxation, but its a place of constant work for me. I love my family but sometimes their shit is too much. I told Peter that I want to get out of her as soon as possible. Thats when my upcoming choice comes into play.

If I decided to go on to graduate school in the fall, I will be at home for the next two to three years. If I don’t that leaves room for me to find a real job like Helena, some real life experiences like Anna, and possible move out of my house. However, that decision alone stresses me out. My stomach is in knots as I type this.

I am so over everything and I need a break. A holiday. A vacation. Something. Anything. Universe, I’m asking for a break please?