NaBloPoMo 2013 is officially over. I may now quit worrying about brainstorming ideas on a schedule and posting on time. Which isn’t easy, believe me.

NaBloPoMo was a lot harder than I originally anticipated. It’s easy to come up with the post objective. The difficult task is committing to making that post a quality post.

I had so many ideas swirling around in my head. However, I lacked the heart it took to make any of those ideas come alive.

Which is why I sincerely apologize for submitting old writings in place of new, original ones. It was a cop-out and I know it. (I’d also like to apologize for cheating; I posted several times in the space of a day and simply changed the date upon submission.)

It was incredibly challenging to summon the enthusiasm to bring passion into my words. How does one invite sentiment without feeling it themselves? It isn’t fair of me to ask you to feel any fervor in my musings unless I feel it myself. And I can’t force myself to be inspired to write anything of quality; it isn’t a switch I can turn on and off.

Inspiration strikes whenever the hell it wants to. I can ride that Inspiration Train for days or minutes; it stays for as long as it wants. But forcing myself to post something every day was grueling. I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to make anything make sense.

Which is why I’m so thankful that challenge is over. I think, overall, it was a good experience; I learned that I never want to do it again. I also learned that I can’t force myself to feel something I don’t. (On the other hand, I can’t force myself to not feel the things I do.) Subsequently, I also can’t do anything on time. If you give me a schedule, odds are, I will be of no use to you and I will most definitely be late.

It was a weird month.