He’s told me he loves me in the off-hand way that makes me question whether I believe it.

He flings the ‘L’ word around with a purposeful carelessness, with a hint of intent, with a whisper of certainty.

But…

Never an “I love you.”

We’ve only been seeing each other for a month, officially. We’ve only been on one long, extended date. We’ve only kissed once. I haven’t met his parents and he hasn’t met mine.

This isn’t a whirlwind romance. I’m not getting caught up in the thrill of it all, only to disregard commitment when it matters most. I want this to be steady. I want this to last.

But I want to be sure. I don’t want to lose myself in the honeymoon phase and utter words I’ll regret when the enchantment of new wears off.

There’s the ever-growing potential for love here. I’m comfortable with him in a way that doesn’t bore me. He still makes my heart skip a beat that sends a warm, tingly feeling to my toes.

He may love me. I may doubt it. It’s too soon to tell and I don’t want to ruin things before they really start.

I’m holding back. I’m terrified. Please. Be patient.

Please Don’t Say You Love Me by Gabrielle Aplin